Never Let Me Go
by jdmusiclover
Summary: <html><head></head>When Emma is trapped in an ice cave, Killian is frantic. When she's rescued and coccooned in the warmth of her family and her love, she comes to realize that maybe "happily ever after" is possible after all. Spoilers for 4x2.</html>


Never Let Me Go

**Disclaimer**: _Alas, I do not own these characters. If I did Emma and Killian would probably already be married and pregnant with their second child. Unfortunately I can't even take credit for the plot of the majority of this. I can only take credit for the characters' internal musings._

"She's passed out! She's turning blue!"

"No! EMMA!" Killian screamed as he surged forward toward the ice wall that was slowly killing the most important person in this world or any other.

He hacked at the wall, nearly mad with fear, the panic like a living beast tearing him open from the inside. It couldn't end like this. It couldn't! If he lost another person he loved, he might as well die with her; life would no longer be worth living.

The prince grabbed at his sleeve, stopping him in his wild, futile pursuit. "No! It won't do any good!"

Killian stepped back. Charming was right. He'd hack down the whole bloody wall with his bare hook if he had to, but it would be too slow. He'd reach his lovely Swan only to find nothing but her frozen corpse to embrace.

And with that, the shaking started. He tuned out Emma's father as he tried to convince the ice woman to save Emma's life. A terrible feeling of déjà vu set in as his mind wandered back to the last two times he'd loved someone; really, truly loved someone.

~cs~cs~cs~cs~

_He remembered the optimism, the sense of adventure as the Jewel of the Realm settled back into the peaceful waters of the Enchanted Forest. It would be him and Liam against the world! They would find a way to expose the treachery of their duplicitous king, and they would do it in the way they did everything…together._

_And then he heard it, a small thud, the sound of something, someone falling. He turned to see Liam, his beloved brother, the strongest most stalwart soldier in all the king's navy, slumped against the wall, one hand clutching his chest._

_No! No, no, no, no, no! This couldn't be happening! He'd held his brother, his whole world in his arms, trying desperately to hold the life within him. But it was to no avail. Liam slipped away._

~cs~cs~cs~cs~

And then there was Milah, his wild, adventurous, beautiful pirate lass. With her by his side, he was invincible….

~cs~cs~cs~cs~

_It looked like they were going to make it. With the bean in his hand, Killian could feel victory. They were going to rid themselves of her Crocodile of a husband and hoodwink him at the same time. He and Milah would laugh about it later as they lounged on the beach of some exciting new realm._

_But no sooner had the thought formed before it was dashed before his eyes. "I never loved you!" Milah spat._

_Killian watched helplessly as the bloody Crocodile reached into Milah's chest and pulled out her heart. He lunged forward, only to meet with implacable resistance as a rope coiled around him, lashing him to the mast._

_He could do nothing but scream in agony as he watched Rumplestiltskin squeeze Milah's heart until it was nothing but fine powder._

_He cut his way free from the mast and caught her as she fell to the ground. She looked up at him, told him she loved him, and then she was gone._

~cs~cs~cs~cs~

And as Charming finished his plea to the woman called Elsa, as the two men who loved Emma most stared at each other, their faces twin masks of fear and agony, Killian felt his heart drop to his very toes.

It was going to happen again! It was going to bloody happen _again_! But this time it would be worse. This time it would be far, far worse. This time he couldn't even hold her and comfort her as she took her last breath.

He stared helplessly at the smooth surface of the wall, willing it to crumble, willing it to break.

And then it did. First came the swirl of snowflakes, and then the hole opened. He peered in and he saw her! She was cold, blue, nearly boneless in her frozen state, _but she was alive!_

"I see her!"

And then he and the prince were pulling her out, and he was taking her into his arms. The tears came to his eyes and it was all he could do to hold them back as he crushed her to him, clinging to her as though she was his lifeboat in a raging sea.

_Oh God, she survived!_ It was more than he could take in. He'd never let her go again.

"You alright?" he ground out.

She nodded against his chest, her arms holding him as tightly as he was holding her. Her hand was in his hair, cupping his head, pouring comfort into him as surely as he was trying to comfort her.

It was too much. It was not enough.

He swept her up in his arms and started for the police cruiser. They had to get her warm, but in the meantime he couldn't let her out of the protective circle of his arms, because for once, for the first time in his life, the one he loved had _come back to him!_

~cs~cs~cs~cs~

Emma felt her father drape a second blanket around her shoulders as Elsa smoothed the one already there. With one hand she clung to Henry and with the other, Killian.

She shivered, wondering if she'd ever stop shaking, wondering if she'd ever get warm again. Killian squeezed her hand, feeling, sensing her distress. She returned the pressure. He knew; he always knew, and she'd never have enough words to tell him how grateful she was.

As she'd lain in that icy cave, hovering somewhere between awake and asleep, her mind had dwelled on all those she loved—her parents, her son, her brother.

And her pirate. Especially him. He'd given her nothing but selfless love, devotion, confidence, help and joy since he'd turned back and offered to take her to Neverland to rescue Henry. He'd been her sidekick, her jester, her knight in shining armor, her cheerleader, her motivational speaker, her partner, her sweetheart. His devotion was the stuff that romance novels were made of.

Emma adjusted her hand until her palm was pressed to his, her fingers laced with his, and she clung to him. She _needed_ him like she'd never needed anyone in her life, and for the first time the thought didn't scare her; it filled her with warmth and peace. She'd seen the look on his face as he and her dad pulled her from the cave. He'd been utterly _wrecked_. As afraid of losing him as she was, he was equally afraid of losing her.

And suddenly she got it, what her father and her pirate had been trying to tell her. She had to live the moments she was given, because you never knew when they might be your last.

The lights flickered to life along with the heat. God bless electricity!

Her men jumped into action. Henry wandered off to make hot cocoa, while Killian fetched her a space heater and her father looked for another blanket. Warmth completely unrelated to the heated air at her feet suffused Emma's whole being. Never, in all her lonely years had she had this. _Never_ had she had people who loved her, who wanted nothing more than to take care of her.

As Killian knelt at her side, wrapped her in his embrace, and softly caressed her back and shoulder, Emma's mind wandered back over the years.

She remembered being the little girl who was prone to colds and ear infections. She remembered how her foster families took her to the doctor and saw that she took her medicine, but they never cared for her. They never hugged her and cuddled her the way Killian was doing now. They never made her a hot beverage the way Henry was doing.

She remembered the scraped knees and the bruises that were a normal part of any child's life. She remembered the workers at the home giving her Band Aids and ice packs, but they never kissed her head as Killian was doing now.

She remembered the time she'd been on a field trip and had gotten lost in a cave. Her teacher had come back and found her, but she hadn't given her words of comfort the way all these wonderful people in her life were now doing.

Emma burrowed into Killian's side and soaked it all up, her heart full nearly to bursting. She was loved, and it was the most soothing feeling she'd ever experienced.

~cs~cs~cs~cs~

As the evening progressed the group gradually dispersed. Her dad drove Elsa to Granny's and set her up with a room for the night. Her mom put Neal down and then took advantage of her chance to get a little sleep. Henry wandered off to his own bed.

By midnight she and Killian were the only ones who remained in the living room. He'd not moved from her side, never stopped caressing her, never stopped cuddling, and she'd never stopped burrowing into his warmth. She couldn't bear to let him go.

Emma's jaw nearly cracked on the yawn she'd been trying to suppress for several moments. She felt Killian's lips against her forehead before he started to pull away.

"Well, love, I supposed that's my cue to take my leave as well," he said, reluctance lacing his voice. "You've had quite the night and need your rest."

She grabbed at him, and he looked at her quizzically. "No, please, Killian," she said in a small voice. "Don't leave me quite yet."

A tender smile draped his face, and he resumed his vigil at her side. For the first time Emma became aware of just how uncomfortable he must be. He'd been kneeling on her parents' floor for hours. His knees must be killing him.

"I am tired," she admitted as another yawn overtook her, "but…but I need you. Come to bed with me?"

She looked away, suddenly embarrassed. This was utterly new territory to her. Emma Swan did _not_ ask for comfort. She felt gentle fingers against her chin as he softly turned her to face him.

"Your…your bed?" he said, and she noticed the flush in his cheeks. He took a deep breath and then the "charming rogue" mask was slipping back into place. "Well, I can't say I haven't been dreaming of this moment, darling, but are you sure you're up for it? It's bound to be nothing short of earthshaking between us, and your parents will be sleeping in the next room..."

She rolled her eyes and grinned. "I didn't mean it like that."

The grin faded, and she looked down again. This was harder than she'd expected. "It's just…Killian…I thought I was never going to see you again, and…well…I just need you to hold me tonight. I don't want you to let me go yet."

He bent down and softly kissed her. It was little more than a peck, but she felt the warmth of it clear to her toes. "My love, I'll never let you go," he murmured.

Later that night as she lay cocooned in blankets, Killian's chest at her back, his strong arms surrounding her, his face buried in the crook of her neck, Emma came to a realization. Maybe a "happily ever after" was in the cards for the savior after all.

_Notes:_

_-This stupid show has totally obliterated any semblance of self-control I once had, and so I'm back again with another story._

_-4xz2 nearly killed me in the best way possible. I was hoping for a hug when Emma was rescued. That's all I wanted; just a hug, but the writers gave us so much more. Not just the hug, but frantic Killian, cuddling, hand-holding, Killian kissing her hair. There was so much in that episode that I didn't even know I needed._

_-If this season keeps up the way it's going, we won't need to write fanfiction anymore; the show will basically be all our fanfiction dreams translated onto our TV screens!_


End file.
